on tumblr and the advent of not-so-social media
in the early 2000's, i fell in love with the internet.
before i was a lonely adult, i was a lonely kid. i grew up in the circus and never lived anywhere for long. all of my budding friendships were cut short chasing the caravan, and all of the circus kids were rambunctiously social in a way i could never seem to understand. i have felt out of place for my entire life, that is, until i found tumblr.com.
in tumblr's heyday, it was a magical place. we were a bunch of misfit kids learning to navigate a world full of malice, to construct and deconstruct identities - given and chosen, and to love in more ways than most could conceive... i finally understood what home was supposed to feel like. tumblr offered me comfort that the world did not. for the first time i felt like i had identity, community, a sense of belonging. that oh so tender glimpse of the web is a feeling, a place, that many of us will chase forever.
i was born in the sweet spot of history (99' baby!) where i was lucky enough to witness the introduction of computers into public schools and the birth of every social media tech giant that exists today. i saw the rise of empire zuck and stood by as unique social platforms degenerated into clock app cash grabs over the span of a decade. it's bittersweet, really. there are still parts of the web that remind me of how things used to be, bear being one of them, but for the most part, it feels colder now. impersonal.
this is due to a primary change in motive. where the early web strived to offer us freedom of exploration and creativity, the modern web's motive is solely to increase engagement for a higher sales output. this is where the soul was lost, and it's not news to anyone. in fact - most people seem to be aware of this and still find themselves unable to quit for good. this comes as no surprise, considering that for the past few decades, billions have been spent trying to figure out how to make these platforms as addicting as possible.
as the web leans further into absurdity, we should make an effort examine our relationship with it and question how far we are willing to push our definition of normalcy.
posted to my instagram ca.2012
"Everything will be okay when its over.
If its not okay,
then its not over."